Just Do Nothing (for Parents): How to Parent Better by Doing Less

As a Black woman navigating both career and community life, I found Joanna Hardis’s Just Do Nothing (For Parents) to be an affirming and refreshingly realistic guide to modern parenting. Hardis approaches parenthood with the grounded wisdom of a seasoned therapist and the empathy of someone who’s been in the trenches herself. Her central premise, learning to “just do nothing” when our children are struggling, is not about disengagement, but about building distress tolerance: the ability to stay present, calm, and effective even when emotions run high.

Hardis opens her book with the humor and humility of lived experience. She recounts stories of her own parenting missteps, like being asked to leave her son’s swim lessons because she couldn’t handle his distress, and uses them to show how parental anxiety can unintentionally make things worse. This level of transparency was one of my favorite aspects of the book. Parenting is often presented as a performance, but Hardis cuts through that illusion with honesty, laughter, and compassion.

The writing style is conversational yet research-informed, a blend I deeply appreciated. Hardis weaves clinical insight, drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, into accessible, often funny prose. Her Yiddish asides and playful self-awareness add warmth and personality to what could otherwise be a dense psychological discussion. This isn’t another “perfect parent” manual; it’s a guide for the rest of us: those juggling work stress, social pressure, and cultural expectations while trying to raise resilient kids.

I particularly admired how Hardis acknowledges the intersectional realities of parenting. Though she doesn’t focus explicitly on race, she recognizes that socioeconomic pressures, family history, and trauma all shape how we show up as parents. That inclusive framework resonated with me. Parenting within the Black community often comes with an added layer of vigilance, wanting to protect your children from harm while also teaching them independence. Hardis’s message about “allowing distress” challenges that instinct in a constructive way, reminding us that resilience grows from discomfort, not its avoidance.

Her sections on “distress tolerance” and “emotion regulation” are standouts. She makes complex psychology practical, offering small, repeatable actions such as breathing, reframing, and pausing before reacting, that can transform daily interactions. The concept of “parenting to the situation, not your emotions” is one I’ll carry forward.

Readers who enjoyed books like Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy or The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary will find Just Do Nothing an invaluable addition to their parenting shelf. It’s for anyone ready to stop striving for perfection and start parenting with presence, humor, and grace.

In short, Hardis doesn’t tell you to step back from your children; she teaches you how to step back from your fear. And in today’s overextended, overstimulated parenting culture, that’s exactly the kind of wisdom we need.